I don't want to build an empire
This article first appeared on substack in february 2026
It was late pandemic and I was spending a few idyllic months living in my parents garden. Looking back, it seems as if from a film. I wore a lot of white dresses and bare feet. I swum in the ocean every day, planted flowers with my father and birthed The Daily Rest Studio into being all while sipping on affogatos made with local lemon balm, honey and macadamia ice cream and cold brew blue lotus tea.
I studied herbalism, just for fun. I baked cakes. I watched hours and hours of youtube videos in an attempt to understand how to film a yoga class that didn’t look like complete shit. I stretched my shoulders out on the floor at night by candlelight after hunching over the back end of squarespace for what felt like an eternity. I saw not a soul aside from my parents for weeks at a time.
When I started the Daily Rest Studio, I genuinely never expected it to become the roots and the bones of all I do. To say that in the most straightforward way possible: I never expected it to make enough money to impact my life in any meaningful way. Not even close.
What I’m trying to say is, you do not need a strategy or a plan to have a wildly successful business (or two).
What I’m also trying to say is, it is not wrong to be driven by love and passion first. It’s not wrong to play, experiment, flail and fail until you find something you adore, and then, figure out how to make it work (for you).
𓆉✩°｡ This piece is a peek into my perspective on running a business in a way that feels very against the grain in the online business world. I actually know many people who run successful businesses this way, but they never talk about it because they have literally no interest in talking about business at all!! It is important to keep in mind that the loudest voices in the room are not always right. And certainly not always for you. Just a reminder if you desire to do things differently, you are so not alone.
It is almost every day, for years now, I see something written or spoken about online that seems to be screaming at me that I’m doing it all wrong.
Gorgeous women tell me I too, could be wearing a tiny bikini on a lounge chair on the Italian coast, working no more than a single hour a week, if only I had enough self belief and discipline to implement her strategy to scale, like, yesterday.
This messaging seems harmless, empowering even, and is difficult to criticise because hell yes, women should be making great money and hell hell yes, not working ourselves to the bone to get there.
But.
Even if the intention is pure, it cannot be ignored how this type of content absolutely reaches in and presses directly against our most tender spots.
When we see this over and over and over again, we start to believe that the reason we are not having immediate, obvious, measurable success is because of some failure within us. Not enough discipline. Not enough consistency. Too many limiting beliefs. A innate repulsion toward short form content and daily posting we should fight to overcome if we ever want to be someone.
We also create a deep, cemented belief that bigger and more is always better and the only path to get there is by having it all figured out first.
Back when I started working for myself, which was over a decade ago now, I had no savings and no experience. I took long term payment plans and invested a lot of time into these types of online business courses because I truly believed it was the smartest thing to do. In reality, all they did was make me feel really terrible about myself, and interestingly, pulled me further away from what ended up being the true magic of my work, my business and my life, as a whole.
When I look back at it now, I see that, like most of us, I just wanted to feel safe during a period of time that is, by nature, completely unpredictable, unable to be controlled.
It’s like prematurely jumping into a relationship before you even know the person, because you can’t stand the uncertainty of it all.
Just as in love and dating, while talking to other people about their experiences is always insightful, and seeking support can set the stage for great change, there is no one strategy or set of rules than will ensure you will get your desired result.
There is no one method to save yourself from being hurt.
To live, fully and deeply is to be, in one way or another, at constant risk of having your heart shattered into a million pieces on the floor.
The nature of true love is the risk of deep heartbreak.
The nature of starting a business is that it could absolutely fail.
Remember: no one can sell you anything to prevent that.
And nor should we desire it. Those very failures are the portals through which we find the most expansion and growth, if only we have the humility and the patience to allow it.
I’m writing this substack from my favourite place. A big, dark wood desk in my Tokyo apartment I treated myself to late last year. At 35 years old, I finally outgrew writing from a cushion on the floor.
I’m watching tiny snow flurries swirl and dance outside my window as beeswax candles burn and I switch between sipping coffee and pomegranate juice. Olivia Dean is singing from my record player in the background over the gurgle of the warm steam humidifier keeping my skin soft and moisturised in the bitter cold.
This is only the second time I’ve seen snow from my apartment window.
There is something about it that reminds me just how far I’ve come, carried here to create a life Tokyo, to the most confident and stable version of myself by my work as a practice, a passion and an art form, instead of time blocking, scheduling, outsourcing or reaching for externally celebrated goals.
Over the years, I have had people wanting to invest in The Daily Rest, offer to take on all the stuff I don’t have the skills or time for like digital marketing and design to help me grow. They would say things like you should be making real money without telling me what that even means, or knowing anything about the financial side of my work. I have been asked on podcasts with massive reach. I have been offered collaborations with large businesses. I started working on an app. I was even offered a book deal with my dream publisher.
I turned them all down. One by one.
The reason I share this is not because I’m trying to be cool (I am not cool, we have already established that) but because when I first turned down these opportunities, I felt massive waves of shame. I wondered what was wrong with me. The disembodied voice of the spiritual girl boss ricocheted around in my skull.
You’re afraid to be seen.
You have to work on your limiting beliefs and unworthiness.
Your time management skills suck, girl.
For a time, I genuinely believed this.
When asked why I turned certain opportunities down, especially the book deal, which in theory should have been my greatest dream, I would answer something flimsy like I don’t have time, I don’t want to overwhelm myself and honestly, those answers are perfectly valid on their own, but the real truth was:
I just didn’t want to.
It looked great on paper, perfect even.
But it didn’t feel right.
When I sit with those answers, another small voice appears and says something like, who do you think you are to say no to all of that?
Usually, when that voice appears, I know I’m back on track.
What a relief it is, to realise that success comes in as many different forms as there are people in the world.
How powerful it is, to believe in yourself enough to say no.
I have zero desire to scale.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in attracting more of the right people to my world.
I have zero desire to prioritise profit over the enjoyment I have for my work. I simply cannot get as excited about a dollar amount as I can about finding the best place for a retreat, talking to a group of women for hours about desires and dreams, spending mornings writing in coffee shops or putting together a new program where the final threads come together with magnetic simplicity.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t consider profit at all.
It’s truly possible to have a business that makes money without focusing on money all that much. If money alone is something that excites you, then sure. But if you’re just setting monthly targets because you think you have to in order to reach them, then it’s probably not going to be inspiring enough when things get tough (which they will).
It’s interesting.
One of the ways I feel deeply and truly successful right down into my core is that I actually love my work. I love teaching. I love writing. I love creating programs and retreats, witnessing them come to life. I love the people I get to spend time with through it all.
Yes, sometimes I am completely overwhelmed. Yes, I have worked hard and it has taken a long time to get here (for anyone new I have been writing online since I was a teenager, I am in no way an overnight success). Yes I have made sacrifices and taken risks. But I also feel, most days, like the luckiest woman in the world.
I do not want to ‘batch content’ because I enjoy the art and the practice of writing and creating. I like using pen and paper. I like writing on trains and in coffee shops. I like writing early in the morning while I’m still waking up. I like writing and then starting all over again. This substack has taken me two weeks to finish! But every moment spent was worth it, and I know that, even before I hit send.
I do not want to stop teaching live and turn my work into just an ‘evergreen’ course because teaching live is the best part.
I do not want to write a five year plan because I know when I let go of all, that it becomes more beautiful than I could ever expect.
We are told we should do these things in order to find more growth, more freedom, more success — but if we love what we do, why would we want to rush it, cram it into a colour coded box?
Why on earth would we want to do it less if it is something we love.
The one issue with writing about all this, instead of talking about it with a back and forth exchange (which is what we do in the TDR studio soft business circles) is that of course, there is less space for in the moment nuance and depth that arises via conversation, which is the best way to learn and evolve (and another reason why I never want to stop teaching live!!)
Five year plans, scaling, reel hooks, bombastic profit goals, content schedules, passive income, a why or a mission that lights your soul alive, the ability to not work at all for months at a time — all of it is beautiful.
But it is not for me.
At least not for now, not so far in the 10+ years of working this way.
For so long, I was quietly inwardly cruel and self-critical about the way I work. I berated myself endlessly. I told myself I was wasting opportunities, doing it all wrong. I tried time after time after time to force myself to be like everyone else.
Until slowly, gently, like the first spring buds arising under a light snow, I began to realise that it was embracing my way that led me to where I am right now. I looked around at my life: not what I owned, not what my stats were, but how I lived each day and I realised just how incredibly, deeply successful I was.
I don’t want to build an empire.
I want to live my beautiful and imperfect life.
And I already am.
Soft Business Resources & Inspiration
One of the ways I stay committed to my slow and satisfying way of business building when the noise of the other is so loud, is by making sure to connect with others who are successful without viral reels or social media trends, who dance across multiple mediums and who constantly choose that which cannot scale.
Johanna Tagada is an online friend and true inspiration for me, I have been following her work online since my late teen years! She is an artist, an author, a teacher and the founder of multiple businesses and projects including a publishing house, a magazine and not-for-profit work. I recently attending her drawing workshop in Tokyo, even though I cannot draw because I will sign up for anything she offers.
This is my favourite book on business, written by the former owner of a tiny coffee shop in Tokyo. I have carried a copy around with me since a friend gifted it to me in 2018 and have turned so many people onto it. A must read!
I adore the world of Le Petite 3 a snail mail newspaper and how they mysteriously advertise themselves.
I love love loved this substack on Solange. An example of how you can have wild, mainstream success and still be true to yourself and prioritise art over everything else.
Ichiko Aoba is a musician, artist, author and founder of a record label who inspires me deeply. I’ve written about her here and here. Watching her live always feels like a healing and a transmission. She embodies gentleness (and weirdness) as power.
Julyssa Rose is the founder of a jewellery brand, writes a substack and has a youtube channel. I adore her whole world and how she expresses herself. Watching her do business as a young woman is wildly inspiring to me. I have this and this on my wishlist, of course.
The Soft Business Circles in The Daily Rest Studio. I know I host these so it might seem a little cringe to write it down here, but these circles are the support groups for creative, self-employed and just women in general livinly gently and wildly in a crazy world. They bring me so much peace, motivation and joy.
I have written extensively on this subject here on substack. You might also enjoy how writing made me confident, how I moved to tokyo to start a business, the clues we have following us all our lives that hint at what we’re supposed to do and how I follow the most days approach.
Most importantly, my greatest inspirations without fail are my friends, my family and the women who engage with my work and make it possible. The conversations I have with these women make more positive impact on my business and work than I think they could ever know.
If you made it this far, thank you.
I would love to know your thoughts on any of this. I am always delighted to receive and read your comments, they always make my day 🦢
The Soft Business Universe
𓆉✩°｡ if any of this speaks to you, I encourage you stay awhile here on this substack, I often talk about self-employment from a poetic lens. You can also join us for a live Soft Business Circle on Feb. 10th with my friend and TDR Tokyo collaborator, Keito Hirakawa.
𓆉✩°｡ we have one spot left for Kokoro a writing and creative living retreat off the coast of Japan this April. This retreat is sooooo special! Is this spot waiting for you?
𓆉✩°｡ I may have turned down appearing on some podcasts, but I’ve spoken on many! Tahnee is one of my favourite women in the yoga world, you might enjoy listening to our conversation here
𓆉✩°｡ if you are craving soft 1:1 business support, you can always reach out in a reply to this email, it is something I offer from time to time, both online and in-person in Tokyo.